Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
