I think I died a long time ago.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
ok first of all what the fuck
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
