everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
