there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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