This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
