Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
