A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize