Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
