Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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