I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i will never coherently bang her
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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