So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's rum buckets o'clock
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
