Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Alive.
So much puke
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize