My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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