do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
