Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize