I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
