Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize