I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize