Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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