I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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