Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
