I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
worst night to have a conscience
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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