Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
