I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize