I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
