ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
