I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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