the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
