Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
