my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
