he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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