sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
