you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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