I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
