Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
