last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
