I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
