Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
