woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
