So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
