turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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