I don't usually arrange sex via text message
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
