I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
