I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
