I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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