I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
