Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
