its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
