it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize