im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
