No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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