your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
