I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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