remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
