can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
