The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
