I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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