i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
