I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize