I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
