those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
