Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
