I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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