i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
