Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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