I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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