He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
