I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
