guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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