I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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