wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
