Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
