Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
